Aliens are invading!!!...if not now, really really soon.  I have come to this conclusion the way only great and mystifying conclusions are reached--by listening to Matt Lauer.  I don't watch Matt Lauer much, I am seldom home to see Today, so I usually only catch him when something nauseating (see Katie Couric's eons long exit) or revolting (see Ann Coulter's pleasant reflections on golddigger widows)has happened.  Besides, I liked him better pre-buzz cut.  

But I am paying more attention to Matt  now.  Oh yes I am. I'll tell you why in the sub-basement of terror that follows below! By the way, if you EVER needed a tinfoil hat, this would be the time!!!

Cross posted at The Tempest

Yesterday my life partner was spit on. Literally. In the parking lot of our local Wal Mart (who, while responsible for a lot of things, I don't hold responsible for the animal behavior of some of their patrons) an older woman, for reasons known only to her twisted mind, decided it was well within decent bounds to directly spit on another human being and call him "Sodomite".

In the wake of Tempest's (my partner's) experience with expectorant faux-Christian and her self-righteous judgement upon him, it was heartening to see NBC's Thursday night line up give a one-two-three-four smack down of Wingnuttery.

The pot starts to boil after the flip.

I have a confession to make. I am not just writer of humorous riffs about Tom Cruise, feel good tributes, and diaries about monkey names for The Big Mistake. I am a voracious reader of almost anything that tells me THE END IS NEAR.  Which can be a bad thing, since optimistic as I am, I have occasional bouts with anxiety (who doesn't nowadays, eh?).  So tonight, after reading these well written, informative, relevant, and frankly SCARE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU diaries:

Bush administration is 'woefully unprepared' for a flu pandemic by Plutonium Page

Playing Chicken with the Apocalypse by Devilstower

and

Your Credit-The October Surprise is Nigh by cskendrick

....well, I went O-F-F-Off

Everyday, like many of you, I check my emails..work email, and home email.  I get plenty of email I want: WaPo and NYT emails, C&J Cafe Updates (hi guys!), funny items from my friends, topical items from various political and socially relevant groups, neighborhood meeting notes, that occasional update from a good friend.  Email can be challenging.  And it is easy to get irritated by the junk.  Most of my junk email filters out (thank the Goddess for Mozilla and Firefox!).  However, it's an ongoing process, so I still have to wade through it.  Rolling my eyes at sex ad after sex ad, beckoning missives promising a perfect body, perfect teeth, pyramids of cash, the perfect job and a fat free, sugar free twinkie. (Ok, I made that last one up.)

Then one night, I realized I was ignoring something important.  A reflection on our society today....Poets, priests, and politicians, follow me below the fold!

Dear Tom,

First of all, congratulations on your engagement.  Third time's a charm, right? ha ha...(This is the third, right?-You crazy celebs, sometimes I lose count.)

Anyway....

Mimi, Nicole, and yes, even Katie and I are concerned, and feel we need to clear some things up.

And you should know, while Mimi is a tad older, you and I are the same age (ok, I am six months older, you won't turn 43 until July, right?)  So, I have some perspective, okay, the out gay perspective of a man of your age (not saying you are gay, Tom.  That question has become as tired and worn as Paris Hilton's cell phone list.  It was titillating circa 1990, but has now slipped into the passé column. There are more current, less protesting hunks to fantasize over-say, Christian Bale or Brandon Routh...yum yum!).

So, as a friend with said perspective, skewed or not, I want to share some things with you.

Come, follow me into the privacy of the downstairs entry.....

Are you bruised, battered and bewildered from the recent battle royale over ads featuring scantily clad hunks fighting in chocolate? (Okay, I can dream...) Has the heated debate singed you just this side of burnt toast? Well, Revel is here to help you.

(You know someone is serious when they refer to themselves in the third person.)

You my friend, are in need of some positive reenforcement.  And I am here to give.  I'm a giver.

Your gift awaits you down the spiral staircase, just below the fold.

There have been any number of GBCW Diaries, and each time I read one, I have been tempted to write sort of a rebuttal, first when I was new (lo those many months ago), and now after I have been here for awhile.  This diary isn't anything earth shattering, or topical, but a personal thanks to many of you.  Some I have become good online (and one in person, love ya Fabooj, her hubby, and Happy 2nd Birthday darling Ilia!) friends, some of you I am just a fan of your writing, and of course a thanks to Kos and all the front pagers.  You have educated and continue to enlighten me.

Greetings and salutations, kossacks far and wide (geographically
speaking!) Welcome to this week's NLF! I don't know about you, but I worked my hiney off this week. It's true, I typed this standing up because I am hineyless. And it truly sucks when your job cuts into your blogging time, doesn't it? I only got to do two regular entries(Revelry) in Cheers and Jeers (huzzahs: BillinPortlandMaine and the gang who keep the spirit of DKos lively day in and day out!) and my usual planning for NLF had to wait til the last minute. (The last minute for a Capricorn is at least 24 hours before...lol). Special kudos to the light of my life, Tempest for getting the laundry done so I could do this instead. You rock, baby!

So with clothes hung up, towels folded, and lint screens clear, The NLF begins in the tumble dry low world of the extended entry!

Good morning Kossacks! Here we are, a week into Daylight Savings time, which is about half the time it takes me to get used to it. The Mad Planter (Daniel) has been hard at work, "prettifying" the grounds of Chateau Tempest-Revel, with flowers, a variety of fruit and vegetable plants, elephant ears, some tropicals...I think he's trying to recreate the island on "Lost". Later in the season, maybe I'll have a picture or two to show, who knows.

This week's Newbie/Lurker begins after the break!

No foolin', since we're past the April 1! (And what a crazy day it was for yours truly, between dealing with car repairs and the insane bureaucracy of our SO CALLED Health care system...anyway...)NLF is back again and now on it's regular (or as regular as I can keep it..:-)) Saturday a.m. schedule.

Newbie/Lurker Forum begins after the break!

Happy Easter! Chicky and Ducky Peeps and Chocolaty Rabbits to everyone.  March Madness driven anyone mad yet?  Thanks to Illinois nailbiter win in OT, I'm still alive in the "pool" YEAH!

If you've caught either of the previous two diaries, this is a forum for newbies and lurkers, as well as established "veteran" Kossacks to share information, ask questions, offer feedback, or just say hello, I'm here and having a time!

Based on the results of the last poll, The NLF will (hopefully) post each Saturday mid-morning-ish.  This Saturday I was AFC (away from computers) at my Mom's 79th birthday celebration, so this is a special Sunday Easter NLF.

Hello again.  A lot of positive interest and feedback was given to my diary Introducting the NLF: The Newbie/Lurker Forum and I want to share some of that with you, plus there is a poll relating to the who-what-when, etc of a regular Forum diary.

Before I do that, I want to continue to encourage our veteran Kossacks to check out the Forum and if they can, lend their experience and expertise!

Feeling stressed out by the current political environment?

Anxious about where our country's heading?

Determined to "do something" to make a change?

Fascinated and/or intrigued by the conversations on DailyKos?

Enthusiastic and/or overwhelmed by the amount of information out there?

Afraid of looking less than knowledgeable about current affairs?

Once upon a time, (circa October 2004), I could have answered yes to all of the above, except for possibly the last one, because I have never been afraid of looking stupid, sometimes I have even done it on purpose.  Kidding aside, I have been thinking lately about some of the "new kids on the block" at Daily Kos and how it would be nice to have a forum, perhaps weekly, for airing out questions, concerns or whatnot (which is my specialty).  Of course, "veterans" are more than welcome, in fact encouraged to participate.  Think of this as a trial balloon for a "meet and greet", here's your camp T-shirt, and your ticket to the pep rally!

From the Great State of Missouri, where this year, it's "in like a lamb" (a frozen rack of lamb, that is)

Welcome to Cheers and Jeers.  I'm Revel, in for Bill in Portland Maine, who is enjoying a sunny (?), rummy (!) vacation with Michael in Key West (grumble grumble "must be nice" grumble
grumble....it's freakin 8 degree windchill here...but hey, it's SUNNY!!!)

Hold on a sec...HHG left something in this chair...OH! It's a beer! (chug chug chug..BURP) Delicious.  Thank you!

Cheers and Jeers Tuesday Potpourri starts (cross your fingers---) in the Extended Entry Section! (SWOOSH!) RIGHTNOW! (GONG) (CLANK....clatter clatter clatter...)

Uh-oh...I think I broke the gong! (As Jon Stewart would say...."awkward!")

Ahh, the '80s.  Some of us are finally reaching that age we can wax nostalgic over that decade as our heyday, a fusion of optimism, drinking, and partying.  And now, well, not as much.  However, sometimes hearing a certain song mixed with a nostalgic mood can really get the creative juices flowing

The State of Dis-Union Gas-a-palooza has coincided with Groundhog Day for the first time in like 300 years, and after discussing this with my friend Sargent Pepper from Cheers and Jeers, I am inspired to write my first ever diary,"Pet Names for Your Monkey".   I know how savvy the DKos community is, so we know who the Monkey is, right?

If you read Cheers and Jeers, or many of the other diaries, the PrezNit has inspired some of the most dead-on, side-splitting-bring-a-tear-to-your eye nicknames of any Faux President ever.  I believe it's time we created a go-to catalog for those times when you need a new spin on an old bottle-tipper like Georgie-Boy.

And please, folks, let's keep it (fairly) clean--lampooning at it's best rises above common vulgarity (like the kind I use when I throw darts at his Time Man of the Year cover, or when I line the bottom of the catbox with printouts from Faux News Online).  I have seen many of your writings, I know you have some choice monikers for El Chimperor, so in the interest of SOTU-Therapy, share them with us all, and have some Happy Time Karma Fun!